Tis The Season...

Panting breathlessly, long chocolate twists brushing across her nose, she balances the shiny red and green bundle tightly in her arms...Tis the season to be running out to the shopping malls buying up those last minute gift items for our loved ones. The hustle and bustle of trying to beat the crowds to get that unique gift for that special someone is enough to fray anybody's nerves. Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of the real reason for the season. When did this happen?  Why have we, as a nation, allowed this to happen? When are we going to wake up and see that all this running around is for not? This is not the real reason for the season. Sure, Christmas trees and glowing decorations are beautiful to see. It does make my heart go all a flutter when I'm driving down the road and see an amazing Christmas scene set up on someone's lawn. 

However, it isn't about the presents, or the decorations, or even about our elaborate parties.  It is about someone so special, unique, and wonderful, that He knew that the only way that ALL of us could be saved from our own transgressions was for Him to decide to humble himself, step down from his mighty throne above, and be born as a lowly child here on earth.  He took our place on the cross so that all of our sins would be forgiven past, present, and future (Isaiah 53: 1-12).  He knew that this was the ONLY way that we would finally be set free from the grips of sin in this world and gain a place in heaven (Isaiah 59: 1-12); (Isaiah  42: 1-4). The things that enslave us come from our wrong desires (2 Peter 2:19).  All who believe are truly free to enjoy the fruits of Christ's ultimate act of love (Hebrews 9:1-28).  As believers, let's decide to reconcile ourselves to enjoy this Christmas season with true joy and peace within our hearts.  And let us share our faith with those who need to hear the incredible message of salvation. 

                                                 

The True Reason for the Season

Here’s hoping your Christmas

is filled with special moments,

Marked with joyful sounds of cheer;

Raising glasses by the warmth

of the fireplace, sharing heartfelt wishes

 for a blessed New Year...

Recounting precious memories

 spent with family and friends;

Especially of those who are

 no longer with us-

so that they may live on forever

in our hearts...

Forgetting our sorrows

 and putting our struggles aside-

By keeping Hope near and dear,

And joining with others

 at Christmas in celebrating life...

God’s greatest gift given to us

 to preserve and treasure,

Remembering His ultimate sacrifice

 for our salvation;

After all, this is the true

 reason for the season.

Copyright © 2016 Barbara A. Boyle. All Rights Reserved.

      

                           

                                               

 Part 1: Contentment Is Not A Feeling... 

We can all stand to use a little contentment in our lives.  However, most of us seem to get contentment confused with happiness. When we run after happiness we run after things that will make us intensely satisfied at the moment, like going on unnecessary shopping sprees just to sense the power of a credit card between our fingers, or surfing the web for bargains in the wee hours of the morning when we can't fall back to sleep. Or you may go out and purchase the new hybrid utility vehicle you were checking out at the auto dealership a few months ago after you have another rough day at the office. Or maybe as a single person, you are convinced you won't be happy until you find the one true love of your life.

Happiness is elusive in this world. The more we run after the things we believe will make us happy and secure, the more we sense the growing dissatisfaction within our heart. When we attain the things, which we expect will bring us self-fulfillment, we yearn for something more because the feeling passes soon after the achievement. We start to yearn for that additional something that can bring us more happiness, more pleasure, and ultimately even greater happiness.

When you find contentment, you will have found your freedom.

 Contentment is not a feeling. It is a way of life...a daily decision to live every moment with gratitude in our heart for everything we have been given. When we walk around with an attitude of gratitude no matter what is going on in our lives, we pronounce that we are enough in every situation. When you are whole you need not run after wrong desires to fill you up. Because nothing or no one on this earth can fill you up and make you complete. I'll say it again, 'nothing or no one on this earth can fill you up and make you complete,' it is up to you. With that being said, the vital ingredient to finding contentment in every moment is by seeking it from the place it originated.  It doesn't start with us, it starts with God - our creator. Who do you think formed you and knows your every want and need?  God has set a place for Himself in your heart that only He can fill.

You will always feel depleted if you keep looking outside of yourself for the answers. 

Never give your dignity away, even in your thinking...because YOU are ENOUGH in every moment.

SupportRewarding Yourself Goes A Long Way....

This past summer, I had set up a reward system for myself to create short term incentives to reach my long term goals. With delightful anticipation, I've accomplished the first part of my goal towards maintaining a fitness regimen and revving up my writing career. I wanted to lose 45 lbs. in four months, while maintaining a healthier lifestyle and publish one of my works. I was able to achieve both objectives simultaneously. What an awesome feeling of accomplishment!  Losing 45 lbs. in four months is no easy task. Especially when those extra calories you'd been holding on to were used mainly as a defense mechanism. I had to work through boat loads of pain and the scars of prior trauma for years to get to this wonderful place of surrender.

My reward was a plane trip to Marlborough, Massachusetts for the Fall New England Supermegafest Comic-Con. It was my first trek to a Comic-con as well as my first ever plane ride. I ran into some of the most interesting people this past weekend. The locals that I met up with were extremely welcoming and made me feel right at home.  I also had a ball meeting some of the celebrities who had made guest appearances like Richard Dean Anderson, Meatloaf, Holly Marie Combs and Brian Krause to name a few.  All in all it was an incredible experience. I have plenty of fond memories (digitally saved) to look back upon and will be looking forward to keeping in touch with a few new friends.

If you ask me if it was worth having to delve into the muck and mire of my past, I'd tell you 'yes' every time. When we haven't dealt with issues from our past...they never truly go away on their own. We can bury them inside and try to pretend that they are not there. But, if they are never dealt with in the light of truth, they will continually sabotage our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Thankfully, since I've changed my life around to reach my desired vision, I have a renewed mindset and a clearer perception of what I want to accomplish in this world. And I would be lying if I told you that I did this all on my own.  Without being rooted in the promises of God's inspired Word, I would have NEVER been able to deal with all the 'stuff' I had to overcome. I'm grateful that all of His promises are proven and true and that He is more than willing to carry our burdens when we have the faith to believe.

It takes patient endurance to achieve your goals...

But, it is far more important to enjoy your journey.

When Life Tries To Get In The Way...

Do you ever wish that you could just coast through this life without any distractions whatsoever?  To just be able to run toward your goals without ANYTHING standing in your way?  Personally, as a recovering idealist, I love the idea of being free from ALL distractions. Who wouldn't? Unfortunately, we all know that in this life, it would never be possible. The bill collector will always be knocking at our door at least once a month. When we do arrive at a place where we start to feel financially secure, the vehicle will suddenly break down or the refrigerator will go on the fritz. Or when we least expect it, our health may even start to fail. There are so many ways that life makes attempts to deter us from staying on the path to reaching our dreams. I for one can attest to this truth. 

These are the most important things that I've learned so far on my own journey towards reaching my goals:  

Having a Solid Belief System Keeps You Grounded. 

Without question, if I didn't have a personal relationship with my heavenly Father, I would not be able to achieve my goals.  As a woman of faith, I know for a fact that it would be impossible to be where I am today without the help and support of Almighty God.  He has saved me from numerous pitfalls and has provided me with his life giving word as a light to my path. When I meditate on his word consistently, follow his principles (direction), and keep in prayer, no matter what this world throws at me, I have the confidence that God will fix it. It's only when I find myself getting too busy to meditate on the scriptures and pray that I can start to lose that confidence and allow worry and doubt to creep into my thoughts. 

Are you grounded by your beliefs?

Life Will Test Your Dedication Again and Again.

When I started on my journey towards living a well-balanced lifestyle and focusing on my writing career, it was like a walk in the park. I was motivated, focused, and stuck to a daily routine with no problem. Then maybe a month or so into it, little distractions starting to creep into the picture. As I was preparing for my vacation in October, I needed to put money out to have my vehicle serviced. And as I began adding some more challenges to my workout routine, my knee and lower back started acting up on me again. From then on, every month or so, there were other things trying to pull my focus away from keeping my inner zen. In order to achieve our goals, we need to stay centered. 

I have been resolute not to let the pull of emotional negativity get in the way. It has been no easy task. Even now I'm dealing with sinusitis that has effected my inner ear. It has zapped my energy and left me feeling miserable. I allowed myself rest these past few days (no exercise), but today I need to get back on the horse. I'm starting back on my workouts, but only for 10 minutes at a time. Just until I start to feel better. 

Are you allowing distractions to get in the way of achieving your goals?  If so, what are you willing to do about it? 

Not Everyone Will Be In Your Rooting Section.

We've all encountered situations where you thought that those closest to you would be your loudest cheering section. Only to find that in reality they are no where to be found when you want them to share in your greatest triumphs and successes. Since I'm a person who enjoys lifting up others and encouraging them along the way, it is still hard to fathom that those who are suppose to care about you are too busy at times with there own lives to acknowledge your victories. But, the bible even says this will be the case. I don't let it bother me when I'm at my best, feeling strong, healthy, and confident. But, if I'm struggling with not feeling well or having an off day...I can let that get in my head and cause me to feel disappointed. It's at that point when I really need to realize that God is ALWAYS with me and know that HE is ALWAYS available to share in my triumphs (1 John 2:5, Isaiah 41:10, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 46:1, Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8: 37-39, Psalm 91: 1-16). 

Who can you depend on to be in your corner 100% of the time?

'A Person will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words and

the deeds of a person's hands will return to him.'

~Proverbs 12:14

Getting Through Seasons of Change

No one ever said that life would be easy. We all must enter into seasons of change whether they bring us bliss or trials and tribulation. Just like it says in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament, 'to everything there is a season...A time to plant and a time to sow; a time to tear down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.'  Whether we like it or not, it is all part of the plan. You may be at a place in your life where you have found contentment and peace of mind as you continue to train yourself to live out a healthier well-balanced lifestyle. However, if you believe that you will be living in a continuum of happiness without any more problems, misfortunes, or disappointments, it's time for a reality check. 

You may work hard at conquering your insecurities, doubts, fears, and negative thinking. In fact, you may have even been doing a superb job of it for quite some time now and are feeling pretty good about yourself. But,  remember that you are a work in progress. This will not be an overnight transition. There's no tapping your heels three times and poof your a new person. This is a journey that ushers in strong currents that will try to knock you right off your feet. Don't be surprised if you see some of the old habits, attitudes, and thought patterns trying to creep back in especially when 'life' happens. Don't get discouraged or you could get caught up in the negativity and be tempted to give up on yourself. Remember that you and I will never reach our full potential in this lifetime. And that is okay. 

Here are some helpful things you can do to stay focused during the rough seasons:

Practice Trusting - Trust that things will eventually change, because NOTHING ever stays the same. 

Practice Patience - Be patient with yourself as you move through your journey. Give yourself grace because you will mess up from time to time. Also, have patience for others in your path. 

Practice Gratefulness- When tempted to be discouraged or fall back into your old patterns, thank God that you have this opportunity to grow and blossom no matter how challenging life may seem. 

Practice Forgiveness - Forgive yourself when you fall short. From time to time you will have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward towards your goals. 

Keep in mind that even the most well-balanced people experience sadness, disappointment, misfortune, and grief.  It's just a matter of how long they let themselves undergo these emotional struggles before they keep it moving forward. We all have a free will to choose how long we will let ourselves stay in those dark places. The choice is yours.

The excuse you give yourself for not doing something that you should do or that would be of great benefit if you did it may seem valid and unchangeable, however, the TRUTH is that you can learn to reprogram your thoughts that will ultimately lead to positive action.

Straightening Out the Kinks
...And so I planned it last week, I was going to manage to get myself out of bed each morning at 6:10AM after the 1st snooze went off and jump into my workouts. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to adhere to that plan. The old me would have beaten myself up about it and eventually I would have stopped trying. Nevertheless, I pulled myself out of bed these past couple of days around 7:10AM and worked my tail off (major victory)!

I'm slowly learning that part of the process of change is experiencing pain. It's can be extremely hard to break a bad habit when you've been doing it practically all of your life.  Even though I may have to continue to wrestle with the alarm clock each morning, eventually I will begin to settle into this new concept of becoming an early riser. Until that happens, I will take it one moment, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. 

Testing What Works...

When you are changing your life around to make room for new goals, it takes time to adjust to the new lifestyle.  For instance, for the past few months I've been doing well with adding more time for my daily fitness routine (keeping the TV off does wonders) and taking time to do my writing in the evening after I've completed certain tasks around the home.  I've also been managing to get up a little earlier most mornings to do some spiritual reflection so I can become energized and ready to handle whatever comes my way.  

Now that I've been consistent with the regimen I've created for myself, it's time to take it up a notch and get up even earlier so that I can add more time to my quiet times, fitness routine, and start to add a time slot for my writing. This is a task unto itself, at least for me.  Anyone that knows me well, knows that I'd much rather stay up late to get things done than wake up early in the morning to start my day. I have been a nighthawk all my life so it will take every ounce of strength I can muster to do this willingly (just thinking about it makes me cringe).  Since it means the world to me to reach my goals, I will not give myself a choice.  Making yourself accountable to others helps. 

Tonight I will be setting my alarm for 5:55am and allow myself only one snooze. 

If anyone out there in blogger land cares to share what goal they may be working towards and/or how they are planning to accomplish that goal, please feel free to share it with me. 

In The Pursuit of Greatness

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I should be living a 'bigger life' than I am right now?" That idea has passed through my mind many times over the years. I shouldn't say it just 'passed through' as it jumped on top of me and pummeled me to the ground. It seems to happen most often when I have been working on freeing up my mind and living a healthy balanced lifestyle. As a creative minded individual, when my brain becomes unclogged from the clutter of everyday mundane concerns and I'm filled with that new energy, watch out! My mind turns like the tasmanian devil unleashed (the cartoon character, not the cute little animal found in Australia) and I want to absorb all the information I can get my hands on.

I'm a research freak. So, I love to learn about the newest things out there in the world of science, technology, the spiritual realm, etc... I also love to learn new languages. For instance, for some time now I've been teaching myself the Spanish and Italian languages simultaneously. I've studied Spanish in College, but that was several years ago and I'm trying to build on what I already know so I can try to keep up with my Latino friends. And since the Italian language is similar, I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone thanks to my Duolingo language app. Speaking of which, I recently took a cab ride and met an interesting man named Vernet who is from Ouanaminthe, Haiti. He was my cabbie and if I hadn't struck up a conversation with him that day I wouldn't have become friends with this amazing man. It turns out, until recently, he had taught as a Professor of Spanish and French at Penn State University. When I found out he had taught Spanish, I asked him to give me some clue how to put sentences together faster so I can keep up in a conversation. I have no problem reading and pronouncing the words, that's the easy part. But, for constructing sentences on the spot, that's a 'whole nother level' (some MADTV humor). Vernet gave me some sound advice, and one thing he suggested was to buy Spanish reading books to immerse myself in the language. So, that is what I did and now I have some awesome Spanish stories to read each night before bedtime.

The real reason I brought him up was to convey that during our tête-à-tête, he shared that he was impassioned to return to Haiti to become involved with helping out his government, which is in the midst of dealing with new Dominican (border) rules. After hearing how earnest and driven he was to serve beside his countrymen for the greater good, I felt inspired and questioned what I was doing with my life. He had a lot going for himself, but he was willing to put his own life (self-serving interests) aside to fight for a bigger cause. I was once part of a movement years ago where I dedicated my life to serving God and my community through the single's ministry in my Christian faith for many years. But, I can't rest on those laurels. What am I doing with my life right now? Who am I helping? What kind of impact am I having on others? Those are some of the questions coming to mind as I feel I could do more with my life to make a positive impact.

I've always dreamed of becoming a great writer and that I'd eventually find fame, perhaps wealth (or at least a comfortable living), and would be remembered for doing something that people could remember. We all have those, what I call grandiose dreams and desires. I'm finding out that even though I believe that I am meant to be a writer, whether I will finally gain the success I desire is not as important as what kind of impact I'm having on my community right now. I was reading an article today on relevantmagazine.com and the author, Eddie Kaufholz, shared his point of view on seeking greatness in this world. He said, "Learning to be great, at its very core, is an exercise in facing inward. It's an exercise in knowing who you really are. And it's often a painful process of chipping away at the plaque that is covering the truth of what God sees as valuable about you." That's how 'greatness' should be perceived, instead of looking for all the accolades and rewards that may never come.

Continuing to Follow the Path...

I've been so busy with my writing each day after work (journaling and writing flash fiction stories), doing my workouts, connecting with family and friends, and getting my vacation planned (and working overtime to help pay for the October trip), that I've begun to feel a bit worn down. So, I took off working out for a day and a half, started meditating more on God's word to bring me back to center and it really did the trick. I'm so grateful.

A friend said to me today, "Barbara, change is never easy."  I'd been getting concerned that I'd put too much on my plate all at one time. But, as we talked it over, I found that yes, change is hard.  Not so much the physical aspect of what I am now doing (being engaged in so many things at once), but the emotional facet of moving into a brand new realm - which can bring up hidden fears, anxieties etc... It happens to all of us, but in different ways.  I guess the way it hit me was with me becoming tired. So, thankfully I took the queue that my body was signaling me and made sure I was taking care of myself in all aspects (not overdoing it). I don't want to go back to where I was before, so I will do whatever it takes to stay on the right path to reaching my dreams and visions.  It's just a matter of paying attention to what's going on inside of me and taking the necessary actions to ensure I'm dealing with the emotions that arise in an appropriate way as I continue to transform my life. 

Finding True Joy Deep Within

I've revved it up into high gear a while back pursuing my goals of attaining fitness, improving my overall health, general well-being, and last but not least becoming a consistent writer.  I've definitely noticed a growth in my emotional level of well-being because of it. Until recently, I could not for the life of me remember the last time I have ever been truly excited (on the inside) about anything going on in my life. I don't mean to say that I haven't found anything worthwhile in what I've been doing, but rather the level of my ability to actually 'feel' truly excited about things happening in my life has been nothing short of miraculous to me.  Anyone who has suffered with bouts of depression and anxiety will know exactly where I am coming from (here). 

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed being able to feel real joy and excitement bubbling up from the depths of my soul until I began to experience it a few months ago after I'd put my new principles into practice. When I eventually put my visions (dreams) for myself into action...that's when I started seeing the results and even before I saw any results, the mere fact that I was being consistent in changing my life's routine in order to become successful in these areas gave me an overall feeling of satisfaction (well being) which started to build into excitement. I remember feeling this way plenty of times as a child and so those new feelings of excitement are returning to me.  I'm grateful to be feeling so energetic and capable of accomplishing ANYTHING I set my mind to do.

Focus Is On Having Some Fun...

Sometimes we just have to get away from the reality of our lives. I'm not saying to run off somewhere and bury your head in the sand.  However, it's good to take time away from the day to day responsibilities and decide to just have some good clean fun!  I was recently invited to join my sister-in-law and the kids for a mini getaway down the Wildwood, NJ shore and I just couldn't pass up that opportunity.  I joined them down there last Friday night and we stayed until Sunday.

 I get so excited as soon as I see the bridge that leads to the shore, then I'm like a kid in a candy store. If you've ever stayed somewhere away from home that gave you the feeling like you were transported to another world, that's what it's like to be down there. Every time I arrive in that town, tons of delightful memories bubble up to the surface. I stayed down there with my friends so many times as a teen and young adult. We played volleyball on the beach and lounged in the sun for hours until we were crisp and ready to show off our savage tans while strolling on the boards at night. Went from party to party and stayed up all hours of the night. I still can't believe our parents ever let us stay down there on our own - what the heck were they thinking? 

 Anyway, there was so much going on down there...there was a Blues and BBQ festival that drew large crowds right on New Jersey Avenue. We were planning to go there after dinner my first night down, but there was literally no way to get near the place.  But, we passed by a few times and heard some of the blues tunes being played by a cover band and caught whiffs of the sweet and smokey BBQ coming from the many BBQ huts that were set up in the surrounding area.  Later on that evening, there was also a colorful fireworks display that was set off on the beach that we watched from our balcony. 

  The next morning we had breakfast at Jimbo's in North Wildwood. They serve a mean BBQ pulled pork omelette with their signature BBQ sauce (Apple-Q Anglesea BBQ sauce).  It's simply to die for!  Later on, I went down to the beach and lounged for a few hours in the sweltering heat and humidity.  Thank God for the cool breeze coming off of the ocean. I decided to take some photos of the fab scenery all around me (I posted a few photos on my blog).  The final night, the kids wanted to walk the boards, play the games, and buy stuff. 

 All in all, it was a relaxing weekend getaway.  I had a chance to spend some quality time with the family, do some writing, take some great photos, and create some nice memories. 

Focus On Easing Stress…

We live in a stress driven society. Always in a hurry to get somewhere. No one has any time to just stop and breath. There seems to be so many more demands on our time compared to when I was growing up. The kids of this generation are far more prone to having stress, anxiety, and depression. I know of so many children that are on some kind of medicine for various stress related mental (emotional) disorders.             

Years ago, when I was growing up, we lived for running around and playing games outside of the house. I remember as a young child during the summers off from school, I would want to get up early every morning to have some breakfast and watch my favorite cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, and Scooby Doo, just to name a few. After my friends knocked for me, I would be out the door playing for hours until my mother called me in for lunch. Then once I was finished eating, I would dart back outside with the rest of the kids running around, playing jump rope, hop scotch, red light-green light, and all of the wonderful games I cherished playing. Same thing would happen at dinner time and so on... I also made up scenarios in my mind and played in the land of make believe. I would pretend my bicycle was my pony and I was a cowgirl in my backyard.  One of my favorite make believe ideas was dressing up as a teacher by putting my hair up, wearing fake plastic glasses and handing out lessons to some of my friends as I wrote on my miniature green chalkboard. Those were the days my friend. Talk about having no stress or any concerns about life other then who I was going to play with the next day. 

Unfortunately, we are living in a different world today. Now if kids are not being transported around by their parents to the various activities like being on different sports teams, dance recitals, boy scouts / girl scouts clubs, etc...then they are at home playing on their video games and texting their friends instead of spending actual time with them. I'm not down on joining sports teams or any other activity, I think it is an extremely positive experience that helps children learn to work together and build friendships while having fun. But, I also believe that there is a limit to the number of group activities a child should be involved in outside of the home - especially while they are still in school. I've seen some children literally burn out and begin to hate the very organization that they used to love being apart of just because they were involved in too many extra curricular activities. Why don't kids enjoy the simple bliss of playing outside?  Has the technology boom during this generation stopped our children from experiencing the truly marvelous and simplistic approach to having fun? And more importantly, will they be able to maintain real 'face to face' social relationships as they get older? 

I will remain hopeful that this generation will find out sooner than later that being overly busy is not the key to success in this world and that technology will only get them so far and that it shouldn't be used as a substitute for actually spending quality time with family and friends. Then maybe, just maybe, they won't need to be put on any medication for stress related problems. They can be free to be happy with cherishing the simple things in life, because God knows that it will be too late once they become adults. 

We All Have Days Like This...

 Today was a pretty good day all together.  Woke up earlier than usual and did a 10 minute workout on my stationary cycle, while working out my arms with a resistance band - which really ups the cardio workout. I'm really starting to get this morning routine down. And coming from a night owl who used to dread getting up out of bed in the morning is really saying something. 

 My work day seemed to go pretty smoothly as well. No problems to report, no fires to put out today... However, on the ride home some invasive thoughts began to manifest themselves into my conscious mind. The thoughts themselves weren't bad, but they brought some 'bad feelings' with them. Thoughts that made me feel a bit lonely as a single woman.  Then the old thoughts of how to handle the bad feelings came popping up, 'stop on the way home and buy some kind of cake and maybe some chips too.'  Oh, that will make me feel better, yeah sure. But, oh yes, I did listen to them and I stopped at the local drug store and bought a small box of snack cakes and a large bag of chips. All the while, I knew I was in the wrong. I knew if I ate even a portion of them, I would be sabotaging my fitness goals. I also knew that once I put them in my mouth, regret would soon follow. And that is what exactly happened. But something else happened at the same time. I realized in the same moment that I really didn't need or even want to eat that junk food. In fact, I started to feel sick from eating that crap. Not because I ate too much of it, but because I've been training my mind/body to enjoy eating healthy proteins, fruits and vegetables for quite a while now. In fact, the foods that I thought I loved since I was a child and couldn't live without (cakes, cookies, chocolate, candies etc...) I'm starting to see as being toxic to my body. And I need to keep thinking that way about them.  

Once I acknowledged to myself that what I was doing was wrong, I immediately threw the rest of the cakes and chips in the trash. And I felt empowered once again! Then I jumped onto my stationary cycle and 'rode' for 40 minutes and burned all of those extra calories away. Yes, sweet victory! I also texted my fitness coach and fessed up and of course she was nothing but supportive and encouraging - love you Beth! I'm sure I will make other hasty decisions like this on my weight loss/fitness journey, after all, I'm only human. However, I am grateful that I'm continuing to grow and learning more about myself and tuning in quicker to what triggers me to run to sweets for a comfort fix so I can nip it in the bud before it turns into a bad habit.

Taking Control of Your Thoughts...

In order to find a healthy balance in our lives, we must first learn to control our thought patterns. Since the way we think directly affects the way we feel in any given moment, it is important to be mindful of our thoughts. As human beings, we do have the capacity to think about anything we want.  But, I'm sure you've also noticed that there are certain thoughts that rise to the surface that we know have not originated from us. These strange and uninvited thoughts often leave us puzzled as to where they came from and how they can even appear to be coming from our own minds. While this is an important topic to continue, for now, I will leave you to your own assertions. 

However, I do want to reiterate what I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that when we experience having negative, unhealthy thoughts it is good to just stand back and acknowledge they are there without passing any judgment or giving them any credence and they will eventually dissipate. In this way, we don't give those thoughts any power over us. Thus any emotional reaction that would have been charged by surrendering to them is now dissolved. We are able to remain in a state of Zen. And while it is true that this can be accomplished with much practice and persistence, it is also true that the only way we can fully master this technique and find a constant peace of mind is by making it a point to actively do our own research into this subject as I have done for many years. One of the best and I believe only true sources of finding the answers to obtaining the balance and peace we all desire is directly from the word of God. In Psalm 29:11, Psalm 85:8, Psalm 119:165, Isaiah 26:3; 12, Matthew 11:28-30, Philippians 4:6-7, John 16:33, Romans 15:13 and in many other scriptures are the true answers to finding authentic, trustworthy, applicable peace of mind/heart that this world can never quench (John 4:1-38).

Learning Not To React To Your Thoughts

Since I decided to 'blog' about my journey towards becoming a more healthy and balanced individual, it has helped me stay focused in the present moment for the most part.  And living each day in the present is key to staying centered and focused on what's important.  Let's face it, when you have been letting yourself get distracted by the constant thoughts that pop up in your mind over the course of the day, it's hard to turn that chatter completely off.  It takes quite a bit of practice when you haven't done it in so long. There are so many things to think about everyday. We have constant ideas, visions, fantasies, concerns, and worries among other things that our minds have to sort out.  Not to mention having to fend off negative thoughts that can be down right abusive to us at times.  When I wake in the morning during the work week, I have to think about how long it will take me to make breakfast, workout, shower, style my hair, dress, and leave out the door.  Those are the kind of thoughts that are normal during the course of the day.  They help us navigate our time and guide our decision making.  But, I'm talking about the thoughts that tend to slither into our psychie, unannounced and unwanted, just like a goa'uld. Those of you who are familiar with the Sci-Fi series Stargate SG-1 will know what I'm talking about. So, what can we do about them? 

Right now, I'm dealing with getting frustrated too quickly when I have to deal with the sweltering heat and humidity that is taking place in Philly right now. I don't like to sweat. In fact, I hate to sweat! I shouldn't have to sweat like this...blah, blah, blah. That is the chatter that goes on in my mind until I finally get myself all worked up and start to get agitated and frustrated with everything, especially with the heat. That is when I have to just quiet myself and just watch those negative thoughts pop up without any judgment. I need to just 'be.' Yes, sweat might just be dripping down my face from my forehead and my hair on the back of my neck might be getting a little too damp (and is ruining my awesome hairdo) but it is my body's built in air conditioning mechanism that is kicking in and saving me from having a possible heat stroke. Breath in, breath out...ahhh. So, the next time you are experiencing unwanted negative thoughts, don't continue into all that negativity.  Just acknowledge that they are there without judgment and let them dissipate on their own. 

Tough Lesson On Aging...

When we move out of our thirties and into our forties, there are some obvious changes that occur within.  I noticed around forty-one, that I wasn't able to do as much heavy lifting as I used to in years past.  Well, I could still lift heavy things, but I would pay the price that same night or the next morning with a sore shoulder and elbow.  For instance, as a strong, capable, independent woman, I always prided myself on being able to lift heavy grocery bags (we're talking 2-3 heavy bags in each arm) from the cart to my car, from my car up the stairs and into my house.  And whenever a male friend or neighbor would offer their help, I would politely decline their offer.  Feeling physically strong and capable has always been extremely important to me - an essential component to my well being, if you will.  Ever since my early teen years,  I enjoyed taking up aerobics, walking, biking, bowling, and strength training with my brother's weights (when he wasn't around).  I even played in a women's softball league in my mid twenties. While my activities have slowed down over the past decade...some months they've even grinded to a halt due to a continual struggle with a low vitamin D count. There were literally some days when I had a hard time just getting up from a chair and walking into the next room due to the intense pain in my joints. I felt like I was an 80 year old woman (no offense).  But, by the grace of God, I forced myself to go to work everyday and maintained a close to normal lifestyle during that time. Not too long ago, I finished another 50,000 IU vitamin D regimen and I'm now taking 2000-4000 IU's of vitamin D everyday.  Even though my body is allowing me to function at a much better level than before, my resent blood tests determined that my count is still low. I'm grateful that my joints are holding up pretty well with little to no pain most days.  But, my arthritic left knee has put me in and out of physical therapy for the past few months. 

Another fun fact about aging as we reach midlife is that our metabolism seems to slow down.  Even though some people say that it doesn't really slow with age, our muscle mass actually tends to decrease as we get older and our fat tends to inevitably increase. Well, as a woman, I feel that my metabolism has slowed down as I've gotten older. Of course, I'm not as active as I used to be, but I'm working on changing that at present with the help of my good friend Beth. I'm proud to say that she has maintained a healthy lifestyle for over a decade after losing over 100 lbs. on her own. I tend to view her as a fitness fanatic. It sounds like a negative thing, but she is one of those rare persons who gets a natural high from daily burn workouts, juicing, and taking herbal supplements. I love the fact that she is always moving forward seeking out the next physically challenging workout routine to take her to a higher fitness level. 

Let's face it, we all need to feel strong, capable, and healthy, am I right?  If we are lacking one of those three important attributes, we may start to feel a lack of control in our own lives, which can be quite scary.  One thing that is finally starting to sink in for me is that I can still become healthier and even reverse some of the changes that have gone on within my own body.  Anything is possible if you believe.  (It also comes from a deeper and growing faith I have in my higher power - which for me is God). I know that it sounds like a cliche, but it is actually true.  Do some research and you'll find that there is proof in both the scientific and spiritual realms that our mind and body connection is a powerful force.  A force that can be used to heal us and also to bring us to our knees.  So, it is essential for us to 'take captive every thought' and retrain our minds to focus in the moment on the positive.  Since I've been on this path, I've experienced this first hand and you can too.